Through Love And Fear – Leadership Is Personal
There are two themes running through this article. Love and Fear. Two biggies that are intimately entwined and yet distinctly different. One allows you to expand, and the other shuts you down.
Like many others, I’m being asked to define leadership. What does it look like? What happens when leadership is thoughtfully shared? Our response is often based on how leaders behave. What they do and don’t do. I, too, often describe great leaders as good listeners willing to delegate problem-solving and committed to developing the next generation of leaders.
This description speaks to the behaviors of great leaders, but what are leaders' motivations? Why do great leaders do what they do?
I believe the answer comes down to LOVE. While this may sound a bit “corny,” think about it. Love shows up in many ways and is unique to each of us. You may describe it as passion, joy, or a deep form of caring. You may love your job, your colleagues, and the organization you work for. While healthy love takes care of the self, it also unselfishly and intentionally provides what is needed to keep the relationship whole. Isn’t that what good leaders do? They see a goal and provide the necessary tools to drive success. They intend to ensure their teams feel engaged and valued. They cultivate connection and support a free flow of ideas and solutions. They care for the whole of an organization and its people.
Success claimed by a leader alone is shallow and betrays a commitment to exceptional outcomes. Their intention can quickly become self-centered and ego-driven. When behaviors are anchored in the love of others, then the intentions shift to creating internal harmony and a shared path to achieving even the loftiest goals. And here is where you find transformation.
One of the roads to transformation happens when intentions are guided by love. This means we, as leaders, are most successful when we are open to all possibilities. And it is in our openness where fear may be triggered.
In the book Art & Fear by David Bayles & Ted Orland, the authors address the fear we have when we open ourselves to all that we are – when “By your very contract with what you love, you have exposed yourself to the world.” It becomes personal. And while the book references Art Making, I believe the thoughts fittingly apply to the Art of Leadership.
Leadership is personal
When we are in our roles – whether leading a team or leading ourselves – the authors surmise that “fears about yourself prevent you from doing your best work, while fears about your reception by others prevent you from doing your own work.” These become the roots of imposter syndrome, fear of risk-taking and failing, and pleasing others at the expense of self.
Outstanding leadership “provides uncomfortably accurate feedback about the gap that inevitably exists between what you intended to do and what you did." Are you brave enough to ask your teammates if what you intended – happened?
If we allow it, intentional leadership gives us the space to accept who we are – even when we’re not perfect. We can embrace our unique skills and follow our own voice…while always seeking whether what we intended to do is what we did. If not, we have the courage and curiosity to try something new and seize the opportunity to learn and take a different direction. And most importantly, we are always leading with intent informed by love.
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